The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

Hey all, Working Mommy here. I disappeared for a little while, in a whirlwind of, you guessed it… work. I thought that blogging once a week about my challenges, fears, successes, etc. would be an easy task, but as I have discovered, it hasn’t been. When I was working two jobs, at the hospital and running my part-time photography business, life was far beyond busy. No one should put themselves through that really… but I did and it paid off, as I’m now running my photography business full-time and thriving. Good, right? Right. Definitely. No doubt, no question… then why am I struggling to find time to blog? It’s so not that I don’t want to, I do, I SO do. I am going to admit it right here and now… I lack self discipline when it comes to true time management skills. Probably not the best thing to admit as a business owner, although I can assure you that my clients work ALWAYS comes first… when it comes to the pictures I take and galleries I send out, I very rarely fall past my turnaround times. So I put them first, and I value that… it’s just everything else in my life falls second (the business side of things, organizing my files, my desk, cleaning, blogging, etc.)

Since becoming a full-time business owner in July, I have noticed several things about myself that have changed, are changing or need changing:

1) I am a better mommy. I do have more time to be with my daughter and that is the BEST thing ever. I now have two FULL days off a week that we spend absolute quality time together. This has been wonderful and I love that I can take off with my daughter to the aquarium or some other fun place on a Wednesday, and not have to ask permission. That pretty much rocks.

2) I do find that I still work when my daughter is napping and after she goes to bed still, even though those two days a week are suppose to be my days off. I wish I could just let go and have that me time for me, but feel like I can’t. See #4.

3) I don’t know everything about running a business… in fact, I have a great deal to learn still and know that by getting out there and learning that my time management and organizational skills will begin to fall in to place. I have acknowledged that just because I was a project coordinator and helped build a hospital, doesn’t mean it translated perfectly in to working for myself. I’m realizing that I need to ask for help, and that is OKAY.

4) Finances ebb and flow. I knew this would be of course, but finding this balance is crazy and taking some serious getting used to. I don’t have the reliable every two week paycheck. Some weeks have a great flow of income, others I don’t. It is up to me to get those galleries out to my clients. Self discipline sometimes is hard, because even as much as I love and am passionate about my job, if am not feeling good or something in life prevents me from being able to work, I cannot take PTO to make sure I get paid. I fall behind and have to make it up somewhere. This is challenging. Learning to accept that this is the way it is and is going to be, is taking some time.

5) I’ve realized that this journey for me is making me very strong, overcoming doubt, facing fears, learning and growing, laughing and crying. I sometimes still want to go back to “work” at the hospital or somewhere similar for the safety. I know I said this in a previous post, but that pull is still there, and I acknowledge it and then let it go… repeatedly. It is not strong enough to overtake my conviction to make my dream work! I am figuring this out, even though I’m struggling to find balance.

6) Balance ~ I wonder when it will emerge, but then I realize it probably won’t until I’m retired and have grandkids. In the meantime, I am just going to create some goals and I’m going to share them with you now. I am going to let myself take a nap or read a book when Allie takes a nap on my days off. I am going to blog here more, as I should be, because it’s therapeutic for me, and hopefully interesting to some of you. I’m going to attend a workshop by years end on time management for small businesses, or something of the like, so that I can begin to find my flow… I will find it.

So I’m holding myself accountable to you all so that I can track my progress in this arena! Thanks for listening and keep up your own good fights in your own lives, I know you are all dealing with your own blocks and challenges. Let’s not give up on our dreams! Even when it feels downright hard sometimes.

Blessings,
~ Annie

This morning after dropping off the kids at school I returned home to find the following items scattered in various places on the kitchen island:

• 1 copy of A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban
• 1 copy of Diana: Her Life and Legacy by Anthony Holden
• 1 copy of Snook Alone by Marilyn Nelson
• 1 copy of Paper Airplanes: Models to Build and Fly by Emery J.Keely
• 2 paper airplanes
• 6 ponytail elastics, assorted colors
• 1 sillyband, rainbow color in the shape of an apple
• 1 green plastic strawberry basket filled with tiny slips of paper, a small plastic skeleton, a one dollar bill, a five dollar bill and a spider ring
• 1 pair of mini soccer ball earrings
• 1 spelling test of 25 words with two wrong (substantial and frivolous)
• Lots and lots of eraser dust

In the front hallway I found the following:

• 1 empty Gatorade bottle (lemon-lime flavor)
• 1 shin guard missing it’s pair
• 2 pairs of flip flops
• 1 string cheese wrapper
• 3 ponytail elastics, black
• 2 pairs of socks (1 yellow, 1 rainbow stripes)

In the girl’s bathroom I found the following:

• 3 hairbrushes
• 1 lipgloss, Burt’s Bees, pale pink, top missing
• 2 drops of lavender scented lotion
• 1 pair of earrings, peace sign shaped
• 1 pair of earrings, heart shaped, sparkly
• 1 lone earring, rubber duck shaped
• 1 necklace, initial “A”
• 4 ponytail elastics, assorted colors

In my son’s bathroom I found the following:

• Lots and lots of toothpaste smeared in the sink
• 8 dixie cups filled with water sitting on the closed toilet (???)

There are days when I return home to this and I am super annoyed. I harumph my way around the house returning things to their proper place. But today I felt all sentimental and tender about these objects. They are the odds and ends of girlhood and boyhood, the talismans of mothering. They are the good stuff.

The trouble with Tigger is Tigger is a wonderful thing.  What does Tigger have to do with college you ask?  Well, like Tigger, most kids these days have no idea what it is they want to do with their life. They just kind of jump around from one place to the next and they never know where they’ll end up next!   It seems some things have got in the way of self-exploration.

Perhaps it’s the de-socialization of the human race.  We focus on television series, the next movie franchise, online network gaming and alternate life environments.  Smart phones and Facebook.  Websites and blogs (all of them except this one!).  And that’s just our personal lives.  That doesn’t count the amount of time we spend online at work every day.

These days, it’s hard out there for a…kid.  They’re surrounded by political correctness, the stumping of individual thought, the discouragement of having an opinion.  They’re not encouraged to be imaginative and creative.  They’re told not to risk – you’ll get hurt; not to gamble – you could lose everything; not to be feel – that’s just the way life is.

And yet as a people we’re so amazed with icons that don’t do any of those things.  Steve Jobs.  Bill Gates.  Dalai Lama.  Britney Spears.  Game changers.  Okay, maybe not Britney.

The journey of exploring possible avenues, possible careers, possible interests; the things that make them happy.  It’s been fun.  It’s been exciting.  Not just for me but for her.  My youngest daughter’s life is rapidly churning and turning…into her own.  She’s beginning to figure out who she is and who she wants to be.

So many ways to get it going.  Education can be fun.  And exciting.  Talks.  Books.  Google.

I never said technology couldn’t be useful

We are about to embark on cold and flu season and I must make a confession.  I’m one of those crazy laypeople that cannot tell the difference between a cold and the flu. I will preface this with I’m talking about the regular, average cold and flu with no animal prefix in front of it. If I start sprouting feathers or rooting for truffles, I’ll know it’s time to see a doctor. But for the average stuffy nose, I’m at a loss.

I get the basics — they both make you fell like crud with or without fever, runny nose, cough or congestion lasting 3-5 days. Apparently, aches and pains are associated with one of them, but I have three children (four if you include my husband) and I own a Wii Fit, so aches and pains are a daily symptom for me and no help with my self-diagnosis.

I tried using the mighty and powerful Google search for answers, and this is what it helpfully provided:

I spent two hours on a Disney fan site trying to find out the difference between Chip and Dale before checking all of the pieces in my jewelry box.

While there may not be a noticeable difference on symptoms, there is a definite distinction when you tell people what you have. Telling your boss you have a bad cold will get you a cup of chicken noodle soup and a bottle of hand sanitizer on your desk. Calling in with the flu gets you the week off and an all expense paid trip to the CDC in Atlanta.

But luckily, there is a flu vaccine! While it may not always prevent you from getting the flu, it will help lessen the effects similar to that of a bad cold. Of which there is still no cure. And how do you know you had the flu after the shot, and not just a cold to begin with? Which I suppose brings us around full circle, answering no questions except one.

Chip is the Disney character with the chocolate chip nose, Dale is the one who looks like he’s suffering through a particularly harsh cold and flu season.

There’s a new Sheriff in town, and it sure ain’t mommy!  (Well, at least not that DJ knows of).  I’d like to introduce you to the “Nigh Nigh Princess,” who is changing my life one night at a time.

As you know from several of my posts, sleep has not been one of DJ’s strong suits…ever.  From the time she was a newborn up until about a week ago – she had never slept through the night, never more than 5 hours at a time.  As you can imagine, after two years of interrupted sleep, and hideous bags under my much-too-young eyes (I’m only 33!) – I decided that something had to give.  And, since I didn’t feel right about locking her in the garage with the dogs…..I invented the Sleep Fairy.

OK, so maybe I didn’t invent this concept – but for all intents and purposes, this was a brand new concept for our household.  I had heard a million different versions of “Fairy” stories – using a charming, winged and magical creature to bribe children with gifts of some sort.  I decided that if bribery worked for potty training, I certainly wasn’t above trying it for sleep.  (The truth is that I would’ve tried almost anything to get a full night of sleep!).

Anyhow, our Sleep Fairy began her mission at Diddam’s.  She filled her basket with $30.00 worth of random toys from those overwhelming bins of crap.   She picked out bracelets, rings, pens, rubber balls, mini flashlights and a Tinkerbell Pez dispenser (which, FYI, was a really bad idea).  I thought that the key to keeping things interesting, exciting – and most of all, engaging, would be a wide variety of “awards.”  Uh, I mean, she thought……

Once the Sleep Fairy was well equipped with currency that DJ would appreciate, I sat her down to explain the process.  “You’re a really big girl now.  I want you to sleep all night. If you sleep all night, the Sleep Fairy will leave an award under your pillow in the morning.  Doesn’t that sound wonderful?  Of course it does.  Now, SLEEP CHILD before your mother goes insane.”

I also bought a book called “It’s Time to Sleep in Your Own Bed.”  While DJ has been “sleeping” in her bed for quite some time now, I liked the gentle message of this book – separating from the comfort of mommy and daddy, being a big kid and staying in your own bed even when you really want to cry out, only to receive an award in the morning.  The message coupled nicely with the Sleep Fairy’s mission.

Our first night was an utter disaster – that gentle message I was just talking about….yeah, somehow DJ’s impressionable mind translated the story to read “Mommy run away.”  She was traumatized, and wailed incessantly, repeating over and over “Mommy run away!”  “Mommy go away!” “No leave!”  It was heart-breaking.  Of course, I stayed with her throughout her very restless sleep.  OK, first night – fail.

I had determined that I would return the book the next day.  I was going to demand a refund, along with additional monies for damages – except, I never got around to it.  Much to my surprise, the next night, DJ specifically requested the same story.  Reluctantly, I obliged – and much to my delight, she focused on the “award” part of the story.  I took the opportunity to once again explain the Sleep Fairy and DJ seemed pretty receptive, and excited!

The next morning, I woke up in a panic around 6:00 am.  Oh my gosh!  Wait, I hadn’t been woken up in the middle of the night……Was DJ still breathing?  Had someone kidnapped her from her bed?  Had she sleep-walked right out of our house?  I grabbed the monitor and saw a quiet, but stirring child.  VICTORY!!!!!!  After several minutes, she began yelling for me.  “HEY MOMMY!”

When I walked into her room, she sat straight up and exclaimed, “Sleep all night!”  and then asked, “Award?”  I slipped into bed next to her, and seamlessly placed a toy under her pillow.  I suggested she check under that pillow, and she discovered a Hello Kitty pen.  She beamed with joy and said “the Nigh Nigh Princess!!!!”  Yes, the Nigh Nigh Princess……my new equivalent of a latte, or a Hershey’s bar, or even a glass of chilled Pinot Grigio – she was my saving grace.  My new best friend.

Since that night, the Nigh Nigh Princess has worked her magic.  For one week straight, I have slept through the night.  And while DJ’s new standard wake up time seems to have shifted an hour earlier than it was before (due to the sheer excitement of flipping over her pillow each morning) – I will gladly lose one hour each morning in exchange for gaining at least three each night.

If it weren’t for the unequivocal reality of pixie dust, I’d argue that I’m the real Nigh Nigh Princess in this house…..I feel like a new woman!

Hello world! I am feeling somewhat human again.  Now 14 weeks pregnant, and through my first trimester, my puking has subsided (finally!), and my energy appears to be returning (albeit, slowly).  I feel like I can start getting back to life with a two year old.

Which reminds me, I’ve been so preoccupied with complaining about throwing up – that I haven’t yet talked about what it’s like to be the mom of a nursery-schooler!  DJ started school right after Labor Day, which literally worked out to be the day after her second birthday.  We’re enrolled in a parent/teacher cooperative – which means there’s a steep learning curve for us both.

Of course, I dressed DJ is her cutest attire for the first day of class – something that said “fashionable, yet studios.” She looked adorable, and willingly posed on our front lawn, as well as in front of her school’s welcome sign.  Such a ham!  Anyhow, the wardrobe has gone downhill since as I’ve started to learn what nursery school is all about – paint, Play-doh and sand!

DJ is having an absolute blast!  We go once a week for two hours, and each week, I notice a marked change in her level of confidence.  Each week she is more social, more independent (meaning, content when I’m not at her side), more willing to share with others and, seemingly, more hungry!

My favorite time of school is snack time.  I don’t know what it is about seeing 16 children quietly sitting at their tables noshing on cheese and crackers that strikes me as utterly adorable, but it does!  In fact, I find myself almost always obsessively snapping photos on my iPhone during snack time.  I love to see that DJ actually has table manners, and I am so relieved she exercises them in public!  She’s also taken to the playground vegetable garden, and spends her “outside time” picking mass amounts of cherry tomatoes, and then sits down to savor every last bite of them (yes, this is AFTER snack time!)

As for me, I am learning how co-ops work.  Admittedly, I haven’t had the energy or focus to fully wrap my head around schedules, job responsibilities or fundraising – but I’m hopeful now that “Gina’s got her groove back,” I can dive in and fully understand the commitment that I’ve made to DJ’s school.  For parents like myself, who have practiced a loose version of attachment parenting, while hard work, this co-op arrangement is ideal.  It’s so, so nice to be a part of DJ’s development first-hand.

I do realize that co-ops aren’t for everyone, and that’s totally cool.  This is what works for our family.

With that said, I’ve gotta run.  I’m “snack mom” today, which means I’ve got 32 mini cheese and fruit skewers to assemble.