Posted by Annie Kayser, Working Mommie | Posted in Working Mommy | Posted on 30-10-2011
Tags: balance, challenges, goals, obstacles
Hey all, Working Mommy here. I disappeared for a little while, in a whirlwind of, you guessed it… work. I thought that blogging once a week about my challenges, fears, successes, etc. would be an easy task, but as I have discovered, it hasn’t been. When I was working two jobs, at the hospital and running my part-time photography business, life was far beyond busy. No one should put themselves through that really… but I did and it paid off, as I’m now running my photography business full-time and thriving. Good, right? Right. Definitely. No doubt, no question… then why am I struggling to find time to blog? It’s so not that I don’t want to, I do, I SO do. I am going to admit it right here and now… I lack self discipline when it comes to true time management skills. Probably not the best thing to admit as a business owner, although I can assure you that my clients work ALWAYS comes first… when it comes to the pictures I take and galleries I send out, I very rarely fall past my turnaround times. So I put them first, and I value that… it’s just everything else in my life falls second (the business side of things, organizing my files, my desk, cleaning, blogging, etc.)
Since becoming a full-time business owner in July, I have noticed several things about myself that have changed, are changing or need changing:
1) I am a better mommy. I do have more time to be with my daughter and that is the BEST thing ever. I now have two FULL days off a week that we spend absolute quality time together. This has been wonderful and I love that I can take off with my daughter to the aquarium or some other fun place on a Wednesday, and not have to ask permission. That pretty much rocks.
2) I do find that I still work when my daughter is napping and after she goes to bed still, even though those two days a week are suppose to be my days off. I wish I could just let go and have that me time for me, but feel like I can’t. See #4.
3) I don’t know everything about running a business… in fact, I have a great deal to learn still and know that by getting out there and learning that my time management and organizational skills will begin to fall in to place. I have acknowledged that just because I was a project coordinator and helped build a hospital, doesn’t mean it translated perfectly in to working for myself. I’m realizing that I need to ask for help, and that is OKAY.
4) Finances ebb and flow. I knew this would be of course, but finding this balance is crazy and taking some serious getting used to. I don’t have the reliable every two week paycheck. Some weeks have a great flow of income, others I don’t. It is up to me to get those galleries out to my clients. Self discipline sometimes is hard, because even as much as I love and am passionate about my job, if am not feeling good or something in life prevents me from being able to work, I cannot take PTO to make sure I get paid. I fall behind and have to make it up somewhere. This is challenging. Learning to accept that this is the way it is and is going to be, is taking some time.
5) I’ve realized that this journey for me is making me very strong, overcoming doubt, facing fears, learning and growing, laughing and crying. I sometimes still want to go back to “work” at the hospital or somewhere similar for the safety. I know I said this in a previous post, but that pull is still there, and I acknowledge it and then let it go… repeatedly. It is not strong enough to overtake my conviction to make my dream work! I am figuring this out, even though I’m struggling to find balance.
6) Balance ~ I wonder when it will emerge, but then I realize it probably won’t until I’m retired and have grandkids. In the meantime, I am just going to create some goals and I’m going to share them with you now. I am going to let myself take a nap or read a book when Allie takes a nap on my days off. I am going to blog here more, as I should be, because it’s therapeutic for me, and hopefully interesting to some of you. I’m going to attend a workshop by years end on time management for small businesses, or something of the like, so that I can begin to find my flow… I will find it.
So I’m holding myself accountable to you all so that I can track my progress in this arena! Thanks for listening and keep up your own good fights in your own lives, I know you are all dealing with your own blocks and challenges. Let’s not give up on our dreams! Even when it feels downright hard sometimes.