Posted by MissyHall | Posted in Adopting Mommy | Posted on 02-05-2012
Tags: adoption, community, Missy Hall, Trust
- The end of High School Musical has a cheerful little diddy that goes:
“Everyone is special in their own way
We make each other strong (we make each other strong)
Were not the same
Were different in a good way
Together’s where we belong
We’re all in this together …”
It is a sweet little movie, unless your crazy little four year old seems to only remember two things: the eye roll of stinky Sharpay (the reigning drama queen) and the “(giggle, giggle) O, Troy” from the smitten Gabriella. I catch her practicing her smoochy face as she sings and twirls in the mirror and I think What am in for when she is a teenager?! Although, I figure next time she watches HSM, I’m sure she will take to heart the positive message of the song and realize that we do need one another. (Okay, maybe I’m dreaming here!)
But, I do think that we are in “this” together…parenting. And “this” is difficult. I have been so encouraged reading back over the posts from the last few weeks. WOW…I haven’t met most of the contributors to this blog in person, but they are so authentic and totally keep it real. I am very encouraged by their words that inspire me as we move forward day by day.
It takes a village to raise a child. I truly believe this.
It takes a village of people whose words will bring just the wisdom I seek as a parent. And it takes a village of people whose love, words and time will bring just the extra care to my children that they need. I know I can’t do it on my own and I am so thankful for the friends who are like sisters to me and aunties to my children.
Living away from our immediate family has forced us to lean in to our community here. We have had to seek out people who are willing to be the “aunties and uncles” for our kiddos. We have had to seek out people to mentor us and support our marriage. We have had to really trust people. We have lived here five years and we have been surprised by the hospitality and generosity of so many.
And, this will be every bit as important as we adopt. We value the wisdom we gain from those who have gone before us. We treasure the words of encouragement we receive. We are blessed by each person who has been willing to babysit, or coach, or cheer, or teach our children lessons that they need someone besides me to teach them. (You know what I mean?)
When we lean on one another and have true community that is mutually beneficial, it is such a JOY! Last week, we had two couples come to cheer on our son in his baseball game. They took time on a beautiful afternoon (when they could have been out on a date, or taking a nap, or any number of things) to show support to our boy by loving the sport he loves the most! I was touched. (I may have even cried about it –happily– later that night.)
I have a list of people that I know I can call the second we get a call about adopting a child. Some are people who have been there and can help me navigate the adoption process. Some of the people are parents who can help me with school pick up if I happen to be at a court visit. Some are friends who will donate “stuff” when we find out what we will need for the future kiddo (clothes, stroller, who knows!) Some are friends who are willing to babysit because I am sure that I will need a little time “off” every once in awhile.
I could try to do it on my own — feeling frustrated– and probably fail. Or, I can choose to continue to build community, serving these friends as they have served me; loving them and inviting them to be part of the village that will help raise this child.
So, who is on your village “list”?