The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

Why doesn’t anything go right for me? I was all giddy and on the right track and on progesterones. I’m only supposed to be on it for 7 days. 7 days passed and nothing, no period. It was Saturday evening and I didn’t know what to do. My doctor doesn’t work the weekends and I know that he wouldn’t even be able to get back to me via email until Monday. No period, 7 days, no one to talk to..what to do?

Do I just take the progesterones even though they said 7 days or do I just don’t take it? I made the same mistake when I was on birth control pills the last time I was on it again. Before my wedding, I wasn’t on birth control pills and everything was NORMAL..I had my period, I was ovulating, everything was dandy, but I really messed things up. I had forgotten what it was like to be on the pill and most important “TAKE IT EVERY DAY AT THE SAME TIME.” STUPID ME! I would take a pill at 9 AM and then the next day, I didn’t want to worry about it later on that night, so I would take it like around 8 AM. HELLOOOO! Hormones take 24 hours and stuff go on, almost like time released hormones, and here I am taking it whenever. There was even a few, not once, or twice, but a FEW times where I missed 3 days and the box said to dispose of it after 2 days of missing it, but I just swallowed 3. I know I know..you are all probably thinking that I am nuts. I know..I am! I am the one that brought this whole infertility thing on myself. I totally didn’t know that all of this would happen, you know. That and also being 30 already.

“Women in their thirties will experience a decline in their fertility such that the fertility rate per month is about 15%. ” (http://www.socalfertility.com/age-and-fertility.html) Check out the cool chart I found from http://www.advancedfertility.com/age.htm:

Pretty cool, huh. I found it interesting. Anyways..back to my dilemma. I decided that I would not make the same mistake, so I didn’t take it. On the 8th day..TA-DAH! My period came! I swear, it’s like this ongoing battle with me and my period and me and my eggs. I am telling you..I WILL WIN THIS!!

So again, I didn’t get my period. I swear, I was totally normal before my wedding. I wish I never went back on the pill. I had to because I had zits and I didn’t want to look acne’d out on my wedding! I was hoping things would go back to normal but of course, it didn’t. My doctor says that my brain won’t tell my eggs to ovulate…I don’t get it..why did it work fine before? It’s just so weird to me. I know that I did mess up, when I missed a few times and it wasn’t just one day, it was 2 days, so instead of just throwing away the pack, stupid me, I would triple up. Not only that, you’re supposed to take the pill at the SAME TIME EVERY DAY…I didn’t do that. I am guilty of taking it whenever. I know that is huge because hormones are being dumped in and your body has to break it down and works its way to control the eggs. Here I am, taking it in p.m. one day then the next day, taking it in the a.m., that’s like doubling up.

I got my last blood test done and now we just have to watch the video this week. Hopefully I can get an appointment to see the doctor soon because of the holidays. I want to get on Clomid as soon as possible. I am determined to have a baby by next year, but again, I need to not stress over it and let it happen. My mom and dad think that I shouldn’t take this clomid pill. They feel that natural is best and that I should stay strong in faith because God will bless us when it should be..but what if that is never? I don’t know…I’m going to just do it.

“In clinical studies, about 30 percent of women became pregnant after taking Clomid. Success rates will depend on a number of factors, including the cause of infertility, the fertility of your partner, whether sexual intercourse is timed appropriately, and chance.” (http://pregnancy.emedtv.com/clomid/clomid-success-rates.html)

Did I just see in the last sentence “chance?” I can’t take “chance.” I need “GUARANTEE.”

I went in to see my doctor on Monday.  It was perfect timing, since I had to get my annual pap and check up.  My doctor and I had been emailing back and forth about  my situation and it was nice to speak to him about it in person.

I had told him that I was very frustrated with the whole ordeal.  I had thought that taking the estradiols and progesterones would induce my period, thus, giving me the green light to finally have a baby.  I guess I had misunderstood.  Since I had been on several different types of birth control pills off and on for over 15 years, my hormones were all jacked and that was why I wasn’t getting a period.  The combo was to help me speed up this process, normalize my hormones and try to get back on track.

Geez, I wish I had known.  In the past, I’ve taken ortho, ortho lite, yaz, yasmin, some generic, then back to ortho.  Little did I know that all birth control pills were all the same.  Each brand has different levels of hormones.  Some may have more progesterones while others may have more estradiols.   Today, you can talk to your gynecologist and tell them what you are experiencing and they can prescribe the right pill that’s best for you.  For example, if you have heavy bleeding, acne, low sexual drive, etc.

When I went in to see my doc, we also ran another pregnancy test since I was late.  Again, negative.  He told me to not worry because this can happen from stress and other factors.  We did run a blood test, hormone test, and ovulation test.  Everything is fine and normal except my body isn’t telling me to ovulate.  Before I got on the pill and had my period, which was at the age of 13, I was totally normal.  I had my period every day, a bit on the heavier side, but I never missed, and I was totally ovulating.  I guess all those pills and other things have happened in between, that has caused me to be where I am at now.

Next steps are to get on another pill to get my ovulated-Clomid.  ” Clomiphene is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ova (eggs) but wish to become pregnant (infertility). Clomiphene is in a class of medications called ovulatory stimulants. It works similarly to estrogen, a female hormone that causes eggs to develop in the ovaries and be released.” (Sourced from : http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0000752)

This one requires me to be in the “infertility program.”  Gosh, that sounds so terrible.  Am I really infertile?  I guess the doctor could see the horrified look on my face.  He tried to comfort me by saying that it doesn’t mean that I am not fertile, it’s just standard procedure in order for me to get prescribed Clomid.  I am currently waiting for the forms to be filled out.  In the meantime, my husband will need to give a sperm count.  When I told him, we had to laugh.  My husband has never had to do this nor has he donated sperm.  At least we can find some humor in all this.

I still cannot believe how a pill can prevent you from having your period for up to 2 years. I am on 9 months now and it’s getting pretty frustrating. I also find it very strange. After my whole ordeal and speaking with many of my friends that are ready to have children and have been on birth control, they, too, have gone off the pill. So far, one of my friends has had normal periods, but two of them have not. They are either spotty or haven’t even gotten their periods. This is just scary to me and I wish that the FDA would put a label on these birth control pills, so that people will know and not have to go through the stress that some of us are going through.

Update!! I am on the 16th day of my Estradiol, where I now have to take both Estradiol and Progesterone pills together. I noticed that I am more tired and more hungry. I feel like snacking all the time and my new obsession has been scoops of peanut butter dipped in chocolate jello pudding cups. This is so good, that I end up eating like 4-5 tablespoons of peanut butter. I know that peanut butter is good for you, but this might be going overboard. If my snack attacks are this bad, I am scared to see how it will be when I am prego!

I’ve also noticed that I’ve been having very strange mood swings. I’ve been crying more during movies, as if I haven’t already been in the past, but now, it’s ridiculous. My husband teases me about it, since I am crying about happy moments during a movie. On the flip side of this, I am also having what my husband calls  female “roid rage.” I am totally tooting my horn and my patience is zero! I find myself wanting to blow up off of stupid little things, like my puppy barking at noises outside and not hushing up. I’ve blown my cool twice, but I am trying to take a deep breath and relax. My doctor told me that this would happen, but I didn’t think it would be like this, geez!

The only thing I have been doing lately is just waiting. Another week has gone by and still, no period. I know that I don’t have any polycystic ovaries because we had these checked already. The only thing that my husband and I can do at this point is to not stress, relax, pray, and let those estradiols and progesterones work their magic.

I think the hold up isn’t just from being on the pill for so long, but it may be because of me stressing out on it. I know that stress is a huge factor, but I am going to have to start relaxing more. Just recently, I had bad insomnia, weening away from anti-anxiety pills. I had gone on Lorazepam 2 years ago, because I was stressed from work and I couldn’t sleep. She prescribed my condition as sleep anxiety.

Lorazepam worked like a charm. Once I took it, I was out like a baby until my alarm went off. I slept so well, that I never woke up in the middle of the night, nor did I even remember any of my dreams. Like any other drug, I grew a tolerance to it. I went from .5 mg to 2 mg. Life was great, I was sleeping and feeling energetic all day, and my skin was looking fantastic from all the great sleep and no stress.

It wasn’t until we decided that we wanted to start having a baby, that my doctor told me to get off it. Lorazepam can cause birth defects and complications, so I had to get off. I actually went off of this around the same time I got off of the pill, so double whammy. Getting off the pill wasn’t so bad but Lorazepam was hell. I had to ween off it slowly, since stopping it abruptly can cause severe issues and even seizures.

My insomnia had come back and I was tossing and turning until 5 am. I would lay there jealous of my husband for being able to knock out in just a few minutes. Days would go by and I’d get 2 hours sleep a day. I couldn’t understand how I could be exhausted and not be able to fall asleep. I tried natural remedies, like melatonin, warm milk, carby foods at night, but still, no sleep.

One day, my good friend had told me how Benadryl helped her fall asleep. I took that for a while and it helped, but then I got used to it. I tried taking 2 and it only made me more up and excited. I started to lose hope.

Another friend of mine let borrow her meditation tapes. I started to listen to those and concentrating on my breathing. I started to read more books at night and stayed away from any electronics at least a hour before bedtime. Slowly, I was starting to sleep around 3, 2, then around 1.

I am beginning to think that all of these elements, my birth control pill, insomnia, and stress, are what is causing my period to not come. I just need to take it easy and relax. Now that I have the stress and insomnia situation taken care of, I am hopeful that it should come soon.

I have been on and off birth control pills for over 10 years. When my husband and I got married, we wanted to get a home and be where we wanted in our careers, so we both decided to hold off on kids. Once we had accomplished our goals and did a lot of growing up (getting all the partying and traveling out of our system), we were finally ready.

I made my appointment to see the doctor to get a full check-up. She had advised me to get off the pill and wait about a month; to flush the pill out of my system. I was also on anxiety pills for insomnia, so she told me to get off of those, but we would need to ween away from them slowly. I started eating healthy, well at least 5 days out of the week, and stopped drinking alcohol. If I did drink, it wasn’t more than a glass of wine or beer per week.

6 months passed and I still did not get my period. I was getting worried, so I went to go see my doctor. I was told that if you were on the pill for a long time, sometimes it may take some time to get your period. I was prescribed estrogen pills. I took those for a few days and then it came. I have never been so excited to have my period. After my period was gone, my husband and I started trying.

A few weeks went by and I took a test - negative. I took another one - negative. I wanted to stay optimistic and blamed the tests, so we went to get another box. I can’t believe how expensive these pregnancy tests are – basically $10 a test! I decided to wait a week, maybe I was testing too early. I waited another week and tested, but again, negative. My husband and I were really sad. I know that each time you try, it’s a 25% chance, but as much as we tried in those weeks, you would think?!

I called my doctor and the doctor said to go back on the estrogen pills. I have gone through 3 refills and still, no period. My friend, who is a nurse, told me that it can take up to 2 years. My husband and I are staying positive and praying that I get my period. I can’t help but be discouraged by this. Technically, we have been waiting for about 8-9 months. I am staying positive….