The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

Have you ever draped your body precariously across your baby’s car-seat, bare-breasted and nursing, inhaling the stench of cow manure while cruising the I-5?  I have.  Last weekend, as a matter of fact.  And it was awesome.

Last Friday at 1:00 pm, I sent my husband a text that read, “Let’s go to Disneyland.”  We are not known for our spontaneity as a couple.  We’re typically very methodical in all of our decisions, but something got a hold of me and I craved a change of scenery.  I was stunned when he replied back, “I say screw it, let’s do it!”  I squealed with delight – we were being crazy!  Woot woot – we still had it!

We booked a cheap hotel, bought our park admission tickets online, arranged for my mom to come and take care of our pets, packed up our suitcases and the car and hit the road around 8:00 pm.  Several stops later, we arrived in Anaheim at 3:00 am. It had been quite a journey as we had endured kids too excited to sleep soundly, kids wanting to eat, kids needing to pee, kids objecting to our music choices, etc.  Overall though, we actually felt blessed, because in between all of the chaotic moments, we (my husband and I) got some time to catch up and talk without interruption every 2 minutes.

We decided to wait until we entered the park to tell DJ where we were.  She had only known that we were “doing something really special.” Of course, when she woke up at 6:30 am (after only 3 hours of sleep for the hubs and me), she was full of questions.  We very slowly made our way out the hotel door after some horrid in-room coffee and a laughable continental breakfast. My husband and I grew more and more excited as we approached the gates and got swept along with the anxious crowd.

“DJ, do you know where we are?” “No.” “We’re at DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!” Blank.  She went blank.  No reaction at all.  It was kind of hilarious because we had so anticipated a happy dance of epic proportions.  Um…..ok.  Maybe she’s just tired.  Oh man, could her non-reaction actually be because she didn’t quite understand what Disneyland was?

Once we got onto Main Street, DJ’s face lit up.  It clicked!  She wanted out of the stroller, and once her feet hit the ground, she began jumping up and down.  It was AWESOME.  And in that moment, my husband and I sauntered through another parenting rite of passage.  We had surprised our three year old with a trip to The Happiest Place on Earth.  We had driven all night, and woke up in the Promised Land.  We had done what our parents had done for us once upon a time.  We felt grown up, as if our sweet children somehow became more our own.  DJ would always remember this.

It was magic. Pure magic.  As DJ met Ariel, Aurora and Rapunzel, she floated with joy.  Her eyes lit with wonder, as she gained the understanding that all of her favorite characters were real.  At night, we watched Tinkerbell fly through the sky during the fireworks show and DJ watched “pixie dust” light up the darkness.  She wore her Princess dress with utter pride, and stayed awake until closing time.  Never have I loved “It’s a Small World” like I do now that I can picture my children’s faces as they took in every detail.

This is what life is all about.  Seeing the things that we’ve taken for granted through the eyes of our children.  Whether the magic of Disneyland, or the wonder of a Rollie Pollie crossing over a sidewalk – we need to slow down and see the world around us for what it is….a place riddled with newness and adventure.

So here’s the thing. I hate crowds. I really, really hate crowds. I hate crowds the way I hate sites like Groupon and Living Social. I like a bargain as much as the next person, but I hate the feeling of “OMG, I have to buy this oil change for my car and $20 worth of drinks at a bar that I have never been to rightthisveryminute before the deal passes me by!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!” It’s why I will never, ever be caught dead at a Black Friday or even a Cyber Monday sale. Crowds and the frenzy of people searching for DEALSOMGDEALS!!!!! is not for me.

It’s all about me this week.  I need some attention.  I need some love.  Truth be told, I need some reassurance.  We all need that some days right?  My journey through motherhood hasn’t been all easy (is it ever?).  There have been many bumps along the road.  It has taken me 5 years to realize that I am good enough.  It is OK that I want to go back to work…it doesn’t make me any less of a mom.  In fact, it makes me a better mom.  It has been a LONG process to figure this all out but I am getting there……

I am outspoken.  I tend to say exactly what I think.  I can be passive/aggressive.  I often say things without truly thinking about them.  I can be your best friend and your worst enemy…frienemy if you will.

While reading Gina’s post yesterday, I had to check the by-line to make sure that I hadn’t written it.  I know exactly how she is feeling.  I know, because I feel that way most every day.  The problem with this is that I am 5 years into this gig while she is still a rookie (said only in love because seriously Gina is amazing and some days I want to be her!).  After reading her post, I wanted to make sure she knew that it is OK if being a mom isn’t enough for her.  After I posted my comment, I realized I was really writing to myself.

Sure, I want everyone to know that it is OK if being a mommy isn’t enough for you.  It really is OK to put your kids in daycare or hire a nanny or whatever works best for you.  I now have a theory that I am a much better mom after LG gets some time at school or the gym daycare.  I admit that LG LOVES it.  She would actually rather be in school than with me because she can paint! Play with friends! Be crazy all day!

I have become insecure since becoming a mom.  I used to be confident.  I knew who I was and I was proud of it.  Now?  I let my insecurities rule my world. There really is no reason to be insecure.  I am a professional blogger.  I get paid to write!  I am part of some amazing groups that allow me to do things that people only dream of.  I am awesome dammit!  Haha.

I am trying really hard to work on my insecurities.  I am trying to not put my wrath on others because even though it is meant with love, it doesn’t always come across that way.  Not only that, I am trying remember how awesome I am :=)

The past few weeks, LG had a really wiggly bottom tooth. I couldn’t wait for her tooth to come out, I was so excited.  Losing your first tooth is a really big deal!

Over the last six months, kids in LG’s preschool class started losing teeth.  I was surprised because 5 years old seems a little young to me but more and more kids kept getting visits from the tooth fairy so what do I know?  LG was mad at first because she didn’t have a loose tooth.  I explained to her that she didn’t get her first tooth until she was 10 months old, which is pretty late, so she probably wouldn’t have a loose one for awhile.  Sure enough, within a month she had a loose one.

As the weeks turned to months the tooth kept getting more and more loose.  3 weeks ago, I was sure the tooth was ready to come out.  LG and I would floss each night trying to get it out.  A few times I got the floss just right and yanked a little.  Bad decision.  Not only did I piss my 5 year old off but after a few attempts she was done letting me near her tooth.  I would ask her to wiggle it for me several times a day.  I would ask to wiggle it and she would promptly clamp down and say, “No way.”  Sigh…..

Last week that tooth was barely hanging on.  It was ready to come out but my advances were met with, “It will come out when it is ready Mom!”  We were at a friends house for dinner and I was devising a way to get the tooth out.  At this point I was scared it would come out in her sleep and she would swallow it!  For dinner we made tacos along with some corn on the cob.  I had tried corn before and LG just figured out how to eat it without getting near her tooth.  Darn kid is smart!

With every bite I watched LG like a hawk.  After a few minutes I gave up and we were all chatting about who knows what.  While we were talking I noticed a strange look on LG’s face.  Then she reached up and felt her tooth.  I could tell something was going on.

“What’s wrong?  Let me see.,” and I jumped up to take a look.

LG got very nervous and started crying saying, “No! No mommy!”  She reached in to feel her tooth and it happened!  I saw the tooth drop behind her row of teeth and she really started crying.

“It’s OK baby, your tooth fell out!!!  Let me grab it.”  I swooped it out showed it to her and then we promptly grabbed hands and started jumping up and down screaming!!!!  It was a scene straight from junior high.  We rushed to the bathroom because at this point LG was pretty shaken.  We looked at the new window in her tooth line and she noticed it was bleeding.  I explained why that was and we rinsed her mouth.  We talked a bit about how it was a little scary but that it didn’t hurt right?  She agreed and we headed back to the dinner table with a BEAMING 5 year old.

Her buddy Darius was waiting at the table and he was a little shaken up since Ashley was crying.  He hasn’t lost a tooth yet so he was now afraid it actually hurt, which surprised me since this is a 6 year old who rides Tower of Terror at Disneyland!!  LG promptly explained that it didn’t hurt it just was a weird feeling that scared her for a minute.  D was satisfied and talk about the tooth fairy ensued.

As I sat across the table looking at my gap toothed baby, I realized she is growing up.  She no longer looks like a baby.  She is a big girl.  She is amazingly beautiful, well spoken, and fun loving.  Kindergarten starts in 4 weeks and I feel like I am already thinking of her prom and sending her off to college.  It is all moving so fast!!!!