The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

It seems like we just got back from our spontaneous trip to Disneyland – but that was already two weeks ago.  Time flies, huh?  Anyhow, seems as though we just unpacked our suitcases, and decided to do it all over again.  Not the Disneyland part – but the weekend away part.

One of our best friends turned 40 on Friday, and his amazing wife arranged for a weekend-long surprise party for him at the Seascape Resort in Aptos.  We were lucky enough to be included on the guest list amongst family and other close friends.  We were really thrilled about a beach getaway, especially one so close to home.  I mean, if we could survive a 10 hour road trip home from Anaheim – surely a jaunt to Santa Cruz would be a piece of cake.

But, here’s the thing. Traveling with kids is never a piece of cake – in fact, it’s more like a root canal from eating too much cake.  It’s the packing….clothes, diapers, food, toys, medicine (just in case), sunscreen, blankets, strollers, car-seats, etc. that gets you.  It’s imagining a quick getaway, and then being faced with hours of organizing the car to ensure it all fits, that sucks the life right out of you.  And then there’s the “My belly hurts” from the back seat, peppered with the “Are we there yet’s?” along with baby cries (wails) along the way that really enrich the experience. Needless to say, nothing is quite as sweet as reaching your final destination when kids are in tow.

When we checked into our hotel and unpacked the car, both my husband and I breathed a huge sigh of relief as DJ jumped from bed to bed and Bitzy rolled around on the couch.  Our first night there was great – until bedtime of course. I spent the night listening to my husband snore while I kept a watchful eye on DJ, who almost rolled out of her bed a dozen times.  When the clock struck morning, I was already counting down the hours till nap-time.

And then, when the clock struck nap-time, DJ completely revolted (I can only hope she carries this much conviction into her future – I’m sure it will serve her well, when it’s not directly affecting me). I laid down in between her and Bitzy (who fell right to sleep), and tried ever so sweetly to calm her down.  I stroked DJ’s hair, gently tickled her face, rubbed her back, covered the flashing clock with my husband’s t-shirt, played white noise from my iPhone, sang to her, left her alone completely – ignoring her wiggling body and made-up songs. Nothing was working. Hours were passing.

I started to get mad.  I was losing patience very quickly.  Not only was I exhausted, but I was super stressed out anticipating her future meltdown – likely to occur as we reconnected with the broader group and sat down for dinner. With each movement of her overtired body, my skin crawled more.  I felt the tears surfacing and I felt the words climbing up my throat, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO TO SLEEP!” Nothing like a calm mother to evoke a deep sense of serenity, right? My husband, who was wisely keeping quiet, sat up quickly, and looking like a deer in headlights. He glared at me, and I knew I had lost it.  My cool, that is.  I handed Bitzy over to him and marched toward the bathroom.  I said “I’m going to take a shower.  I HAVE to have some time alone.” I know that he would’ve said it if I didn’t first.

I slammed the bathroom door and stripped out of my clothes.  The tears began to well up inside, and in a split second, I realized that my kids were going to think of their Mom acting like a complete lunatic on their first beach getaway.  That made my tears fall even heavier.  In an instant, I knew I had to pull it together.

I opened up the bathroom door, peered right at DJ and asked, “Who wants to go swimming?” My husband looked suspicious of my quick change of heart, but DJ jumped with joy!  The four of us quickly got suited up and played in the pool for an hour before meeting up with our friends.  While the water play definitely compounded our exhaustion, it was a memory that we’ll never forget – Bitzy’s first time in a pool. The laughter from both of our kids was well worth the 9:00pm meltdown later that evening.

That’s what vacation is all about, and what memories are made of….insane Moms who begrudgingly lead their families down the path of least resistance.

Well, I survived.  We hosted DJ’s FIRST BIRTHDAY celebration at our home on Saturday.  I was afraid I’d never make it through the day without crying, but I actually did.  In fact, the day was a whirlwind, which hardly allowed me a sentimental moment.

As we were going to bed that night, I was desperately trying to recall each detail of the day.  Was DJ excited when the first guest showed up?  Did she realize the balloons were shaped like ducks?  Was the homemade guacamole a huge hit?  Had the wine chilled long enough?  Did I remember to put a scooper in the bowl of goldfish crackers?  What was DJ’s expression when she tasted whipped cream for the first time?  All of these thoughts swirling through my already exhausted mind, and I was immediately taken back to memories of our wedding day.

Oddly enough, DJ’s first birthday party reminded me of our wedding day.  While I knew it was a beautiful day, and one of the most significant moments we’d ever celebrate – it was also a total fog.  Why is that?  Why are the best memories such a blur?  The moments we are supposed to celebrate should call for us to be completely present, but instead we are busy playing gracious host, we are making important introductions, we are BBQ’ing the burgers, and we are running in and out of the kitchen.  Even with the help of so many others, half the day, I kept asking “Who has my kid?”

I had looked so forward to DJ’s party.  I had spent too much money, stayed awake too many hours, and tapped into too many “Martha Stewart Living” magazines to have missed so much.  In a perfect world, I could have hired professionals to do all of the catering, and worrying, so that everyone who was there to enjoy DJ could have done just that.

Now, it’s not to say that the party wasn’t a huge a success – and that our guests didn’t have a blast – but, at the end of the day, I sure missed my girl.  I suppose I will learn that this is the way party-planning goes……just like a mother, the party-planner inevitably ends up behind the scenes making sure it all runs well for the birthday-princess-of-honor.

Thank God for photos.

Have you ever had one of those moments where one day you feel like you’re 30 and then the next morning you feel like you’re 35?  Oh yeah.  I’m definitely having one of those moments.  Only, this time I woke up and I felt like I just jumped ten years into the future.

My oldest daughter just closed escrow on her first home with her fiance’.  I think they’re personally trying to put me into the retirement home.  Less than a year ago, her fiance’ asked me for her hand in marriage.  A moment I had visualized for a long time.  But, that’s another ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ story…

Looking for a home with my daughter and her fiance’ wasn’t bad.  It was fun driving around, going inside of homes that were staged with someone else’s miniature furniture.  I’m 5′ 5″ so these places make me feel like I’m in the land of giants and I’m the giant, so that’s always fun.

When the day came where her fiance’ had to get to work and she needed someone to go with her to the final appointment of the day to look at a home with the realtor, I stepped it up.  Dads, just because they grow older doesn’t mean you get to stop doing what you should be doing.  See my older blog Being There.

When we pulled up to the house, I got out of the passenger side (one of the perks of getting older is that you don’t have to do all the driving everywhere anymore!), looked at the home, and I KNEW, this would be the house.

Walking through the house with her, she visualized different stages of the next five years of her life in the house.  Dinner parties on the back deck with music playing through the speakers mounted on the top of the arbor.  The office they would maintain their budget in and invest in money-making ventures together.  The importance of picking the right room for the baby room (I blocked that one out).  That was hard enough.

But then they closed on this house three days ago.  They were tremendously happy.  A vast difference from the mood swings buying a home can put you in.  To see them jumping up and down coming out of their skin, literally, made me happy.

That night when I went to bed, I thought about the trips to Home Depot packing her around on my back.  We bought wood to build a front porch together.  We laid concrete for the back patio and side walkway together.  We went to downtown street fairs together.  Dads, there is nothing you can’t do with the babies!

I thought about the trips to McDonald’s for Happy Meals.  The number of people, young and old, would come over to tell me how beautiful and well behaved she was, was incredible.  It felt like I had a celebrity with me at all times.

I recalled trips to the Farmer’s Market at the College of San Mateo on Saturday mornings to grab fresh Asiago Cheese bread or that cinammon twist she looked forward to so much.

Our trips to Pelican Beach (aka Poplar Beach) in Half Moon Bay, lounging on white sand and taking pictures of the contrasting blue skies and green trees.  A tradition we still practice to this day, only now her fiance’ comes along.

And we loved little trips to Red Robins and Jeffreys Burgers.  There’s nothing like a good burger and some strawberry lemonade on a perfect summer day.

Then, I made the mistake of falling asleep and waking up the following morning.  When I got up, I simply felt different.  My bones ached.  Arthritis was kicking in.  And I forgot things.  All symptoms that I had aged 10 years!  Later that day, after taking a shower to clear my head, all the aches went away and I began to remember things again.  Like the fact that my youngest daughter had, indeed, grew up.