The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

Bedtime is getting easier these days.  DJ isn’t fighting it quite so much, and when she does, I am not giving in so easily!  As I’ve said before, we’re both growing up.  And now that we’re not battling so hard, I am really enjoying the special moments just before I kiss DJ’s soft head, say “good night,” and exit her room as quickly as possible.  (Because no matter how tired she is, when I leave her room, she makes a huge fuss before wearing herself out).

There was something really special about last night.  Zach put new batteries in DJ’s Twilight Turtle Constellation Night Light, so her room was glowing.  The green and blue stars and moon illuminated the walls, and she looked around with such wonder in her sleepy eyes.  I felt myself crawl into the moment with her, forgetting about our schedule, and never-minding the things that I was anxious to get to once she fell asleep.  I let her stand up in her bed, and touch the walls gently, moving her hands through the lights and babbling on and on about what she was experiencing.

After several minutes, she laid down on her back, in my outstretched arm – snug against my side and tucked under my armpit.  We both looked up at the ceiling and began singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”  For the first time, DJ had specifically asked for this song using the hand motions that we use along with our singing.  It was amazing to me that she had connected the lyrics of the song to what she was seeing.  We sang quietly, stretching our fingers in and out from the palms of our hands, emulating flashing lights.  After two repetitions of the song, rather than making my break for the bedroom door, I thought a good ol’ bedtime story was in order.

I told DJ about a time when I was young (“but not as young as her”) and had a campout on my front deck with a girlfriend.  I shared all the details with her, how the weather was so hot out, how we were a little scared to be outside, and how the neighbor’s cat absolutely terrified us when he jumped onto the top of our tent!  I giggled, and although DJ didn’t find the humor in it – the moment was so, so sweet.  Magical, really.

I had become a mom who was telling my child stories about my own childhood.  How surreal.  I AM A MOM.  Sometimes I am absolutely overtaken with emotion when I think about that…..I am a mother.  Wow.  The responsibility, the pride, the love….being a mother is humbling, powerful, absolutely life-altering and soul-transforming.  A little being that was created by love, and grew inside of me, lays beside me resting her head on my arm.  Her hair so soft from her bubble bath, and her tiny footy-pajama’d body warm from our snuggling….the most perfect being I have ever known, all mine to mother and care for.

I just love DJ so much.  I love being her mom.  I feel more privileged that I ever have – more than I could have ever imagined.  It was just one of those reflective nights, I guess…..feels good.  Life feels complete.