The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

So my period came on the 8th day instead of the 7th, which was weird. My doctor finally got back to me and said that it was normal. I swear, me and my period are having war. I’m supposed to be taking my clomid on day 5-9.

I was doing some research and found that “about 25% of female factor infertility involves a problem with ovulation, and clomiphene citrate, as a fertility drug, is easy to use (taken as a pill, not an injection), with not too many side effects, is pretty inexpensive compared to other fertility drugs, and is effective in stimulating ovulation 80% of the time.” (http://infertility.about.com/od/infertilitytreatments/a/clomid101.htm).

That’s good to know and to know that I’m not the only one out there. I just hope that this works. I know that the doctor wanted us to try this a few rounds and them up the dosage and then try artificial inseminating before in vitro, but I might try this for another month and if not, do the artificial. I got an awesome comment from a reader in my last blog, when I was talking about the different methods. I am feeling a bit anxious and want it now. I don’t want to wait 3 months and then up the dosage again for 3 month and then do artificial, I mean that’s like almost another year and a half!

Do you remember many blogs ago, I was trying this “twin diet?” That was ridiculous but look what clomid can do:

“The side effect you’re probably most familiar with is the risk of multiples. You have a 10% chance of having twins when taking Clomid, but triplets or multiples of more are rare, happening less than 1% of the time.”

Wow…10%. That is huge..I am almost tempted to double the pills or ask my doctor to increase the dosage! Just kidding.

Here is the flipside:

“Clomid will jumpstart ovulation in 80% of patients, and about 40% to 45% of women using Clomid will get pregnant within six cycles of use.

Using Clomid for more than six cycles is not generally recommended. If six cycles go by, and pregnancy is not achieved, other alternatives may be considered.”

Again, 6 months is not in timeframe. I plan to try this this month and the next month and then artificial insemination it is. I would prefer to just do the artificial but the husband said no. He wants to try this method, but with our awesome insurance, its only $78? Will have to try to convince him.

Since last week post period, we began to try. Of course, trying is always fun, but then in the back of your head you are always thinking. Thoughts that run through my mind:

- We have to make sure that my legs are in the air, so that the sperm can stay in.
- Am I ovulating?
- What if I fail again?
- Will this be the one?

I know it’s kind of silly to think these thoughts but they do run through my mind. Especially, coming from someone who has had a mild anxiety attack a year prior to starting to try. I remember when sex was just fun and exciting. Lately, it still is, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like there is more pressure, which is probably why I get such thoughts. I know that these things are just going to hurt me in the end. Everyone keeps telling me that I have to stop worrying or thinking about it. Believe me, I am trying, but it is damn hard.

I had lunch the other day with my friend. She told me that she and her husband both ran pre-natal tests and both had no problems, whereas in my situation, my brain is not telling me to ovulate. It took them at least a year to try, too, and she was perfectly fine. As soon as they stopped thinking about it, ta-dah! baby! I swear, everyone keeps telling me this..I mean how do you just stop thinking about it?

Luckily, I started seeing a psychologist. Gawd, I thought I’d never see one, not that they are bad or anything, but just that whole thing about seeing a shrink! The real reason for my visits is to help my insomnia and my anxiety. I am enrolling in an insomnia class, which is online. It’s 6 weeks. Folks have very high results, so I am very curious to see how this goes. For anxiety, my doc gave me some exercises to try. Mostly mind exercises to help slow my thoughts. I always pictured people laying on a couch and spilling their life to their shrinks but this was different, maybe because it was Kaiser? Anyways, I am hoping that this will help me clear my thoughts and thus, have a healthier mind. Who knows, maybe I am prego now..how awesome would that be? Let me now get ahead of myself here…until next week.

I’ve been waiting for my ovulation kit to show positive. Everyday, it’s still just one dark pink stripe and one light pink stripe. This is getting so annoying and I am becoming impatient each day. I just want to take the stupid stick and throw it over a cliff and scream. Sorry to get all dramatic but I am really tired of waiting.

I was just in Washington over the weekend, to visit family and friends. Most of my friends all have at least 2 children. Of course, the question comes up again. A few of them already know, since we’re very close and talk on the phone. We had a reunion one of the nights and the question came up again. It didn’t bother me so much though for some reason. It was just nice hearing them tell me about their cute stories about their children. They were somewhat jealous of me because of my freedom and independence. I guess in some ways, I should cherish these times.

I did notice that my breasts have been very tender. Should this be happening before ovulation? It’s really sore but I did read this on http://www.epigee.org/menstruation/ovulation.html:

Signs of Ovulation

Humans are unlike most other animals in the world because we don’t give off overt signs that we are fertile. Instead, our signs of fertility are much more subtle, and this can make it challenging for us to discover exactly when we are ovulating. However, there are a few physical signs that the body gives off when ovulation is occurring.

Some common signs to watch out for are:

* Tender Breasts: Before and during ovulation your breasts may become more tender than usual, due to the rise in your hormones.

* Mittelschmerz: Mittelschmerz is the name given to abdominal pain felt during ovulation. Some women experience sharp twinges in the lower abdomen during the ovulatory phase.

* Body Temperature: During ovulation, your basal body temperature (BBT) will increase slightly.

* Cervical Changes: Your cervix will change shape, position, and texture during ovulation. It will also produce a different type of cervical mucus.

Based on the descriptions above, maybe I am finally ovulating?? If that is case, why is it still negative? Argh.  I am just going to have to see how this week goes before I talk to my doctor.