The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

I was starting to feel different…My nipples were unusually sensitive and sore. My back was hurting more than usual and I was feeling fatigue throughout the day…could it be? Could I finally be prego?

I ended up missing my period..I was supposed to have it on Friday, but I did some research and found that women can get their periods anywhere from 28-31 days, even 32! If you are irregular, it can even take longer. I was so sure, I mean I did the research and the symptoms I were experiencing could actually be either PMS or pregnancy symptoms. A few days later, I had a lot of cramps. At this time, I was thinking..hmm…are these period cramps or is the egg implanting on me? I hear cramps when pregnancy occur because of that…I was getting very excited. I noticed my body temperature increasing as well, and sure enough, that was another sign, too.

Day 31 passes by and still, no period. I was so excited..I woke up to find that I didn’t have any more pregnancy tests, so I had my husband get some. Later that evening, I went to take the test…I sat there and placed the test in my urine stream. My heart started beating and I started feeling shakey…would I see 2 stripes? A few seconds go by, I see the window fill up and there it was…a single stripe. I shook the test a few times and let it sit there, maybe it needs some time. The box does say 5 minutes. I left the room and was so nervous to come back, but still, single line. I was so crushed. I mean what is going on? I told my husband and he was bummed out, too.

I didn’t know what to think or do. My doctor was out of town until next week, so should I get back on progesterones to induce my period? What if I am prego and the test is wrong? I wanted to sit on it for a few days, I mean geez, I thought that this was it.

Then I wake up the next day, and there it was, my period. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy because my period FINALLY came on its own. That means that I am ovulating. Sad because I was definitely not pregnant. At least having my period on my own tells me that I am starting to get back to normal.

I have a really good feeling that IT’S going to finally happen….

You know, when POP had approached me about being a blogger for their “mommy to be” I was excited. I mean, I don’t mind bringing folks along on my journey. I had thought that I’d get pregnant, like immediately, and be able to share my experiences, thoughts, and emotions weekly. I honestly did not think that this would be more like a cannot get pregnant and trying blog. There were times when I honestly wanted to stop blogging. I even brought it up to the editors. I was beginning to feel hopeless. I was down. I was disappointed….

But then I came to the realization that blogging about my struggles would not on my make me strong in the end, but could help others that are going through the same thing. I know that some women are in the same boat as me, whether it be their first or their second, these things happen. I guess it’s nice to know that someone else is going through it and not giving up. There is hope and you just have to have faith and believe. Some of you may not be religious like I am, but I truly believe that this is an obstacle that I am getting over and will only make me stronger. Maybe its just not my time yet and I will be blessed soon when it is ready.

I didn’t realize “trying” would actually take this long. I should have been pregnant, well, I should have actually given birth already by now. I feel that the weeks and the months go by so fast. Too fast. It’s already February and I had anticipated on really trying to get pregnant by December, but that didn’t happen.

We did the first month and first try on Clomid. I should be getting my period or hopefully, not, by this weekend. I am really hoping that I am. I’ve had some interesting symptoms, which could go either way, premenstrual symptoms or pregnancy symptoms. My breast, especially the nipple area, have been very sensitive and sore. I feel like I have less energy to really do things. My lower back has also been hurting here and there and I’ve been experiencing cramps on my left side only. All the symptoms can be either so I am hoping to find out soon. Stay tuned…