The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

So we thought that my period would come normally this time but it didn’t. Had to get back on progesterones but this time, it only took me 1 day to get my period, as opposed to 7 days. I think that’s a good sign. Now I just have to wait for day 21, 22 or 23 to get my blood test. Hopefully after this, I can get on clomid. It’s not guaranteed but it will help my eggs move. So strange that my eggs were moving and fine but just after turning 30 and getting on the pill again. I had to get on before my wedding because I was off of it for a year and broke out bad.

If clomid doesn’t work, next steps would be artificial insemination implantation, then if this doesn’t work, we would have to revert to in vitro, which is very costly. This would cost us $10,000 each time!   I just hope that it doesn’t get to this level because it is very expensive.  It’s so funny how celebrities these days have so much money that they just go through in vitro like it’s nothing to have twins.

I really have to thank this infertility program.  Sometimes I have mixed feelings about this, like is this playing God? I mean if it was many years ago, same situation, I wouldn’t be able to have kids.  Such a depressing feeling, but in light of it all, God has a plan for me and I believe in what is destined for me.  I mean I am not too sad about the whole ordeal because I am still young.  Some folks start having kids at 35 and up and I am only 30.  I think it would be a different story if I was a super career wife and traveling.  Right now, I do work, and I do work hard, but I work from home, and it’s about 5-6 hours a day, rather than your typical 8-9 hours, plus travel.   Just given my current situation and the pressures from our family, it would just be perfect to have one now.  Plus, I don’t want to be too old.  If we want 3 kids, we have to start soon.

Some of my friends started out young and although it was hard for them before, they got it made now.  Their kids are in elementary school and are pretty established and can take care of their own.  They can go shopping together, do fun activities together, and just hang out.  My friends can now do what they want and pretty much when they want, like having fun, working out, career, and not have to worry since they are still young and energetic. I guess we all have different paths and I am respecting my path.  Thank God for Infertility Program!

I am ready to go. My period is done and I am off the 3 month estradiol and progesterone combo. My doctor gave me the green light to start. Wow, can you believe that..I can start! Whoo hoo! I mean, I love sex, but wow, the green light to try to have a baby is a more than added plus!

I got my ovulation test kit ready and started testing on Monday. So far, just 1 stripe. I kind of have a faint second one, but I know that I need to wait for it to be dark. I am super excited, but knock on wood, I need to really take a step back. I don’t want to get overly excited and end up stressing myself out. Just like what everyone’s been telling me, I should just let it happen. Easy to say, if you’ve been where I have been.

As far as preparing myself, I have been reading up online a lot and started months ago. I started taking folic acid. I am taking 800 mg but I know that I already get it in my foods. I’ve also stopped drinking caffeine. I used to love tea and energy drinks, but those had to go. Too much caffeine can surprisingly cause infertility or miscarriages. I’ve also cut down on eating tuna and sashimi. Gosh, I love that stuff, but I hear mercury is really bad. I was watching an episode on Dr. Oz, and he said that the mercury actually stays in your body for quite some time. I don’t want to contaminate my body. Speaking of contamination, I’ve been drinking a lot of water. I know it’s hard to get in 8 cups a day, but I figure 6 cups is good, and then all the food that you eat that contain water.

I am very excited yet trying to keep it cool. Please send me your positive baby making energies, everyone.

This was my last month on the estradiols and progesterone, that’s 3 months. After the last week, I got my period. We are so excited! We have our ovulation kit ready and I can’t wait to start trying again. I really hope that God blesses us this time around. I am staying hopeful yet I should also try to not stress on it so hard.

It’s so funny. Everyone that I’ve talked to has told me that either they or they know someone who was trying and never conceived, but the moment they stopped trying, they did. I am really going to try to not think about it, but I can’t help not to. I mean I blog about it, think about it, and talk about it. It’s my last month on these dang pills and I can really start. It’s really hard to not think about and “try.” I just don’t want to get all worked up and then end up failing again. Positive energies are definitely welcomed my way, everyone.

It’s funny because I read this article in a magazine the other night about a woman in her mid 30′s doing the exact opposite.  She was sick and tired of going to parties and events, where people would ask her about kids or when she plans on having kids.  In my world, I want a baby but in her world, she doesn’t want kids.  Her pain and stress is just hearing about the same topics and having to tell everyone that she doesn’t want kids.  Everyone assumes that something is wrong with her health, but nothing is wrong, she just doesn’t want kids.  Then everyone assumes that she hates kids, but she doesn’t.  Her thing is that she isn’t destined to have kids.  She always felt that kids would dent her social life, financial stability, personal time, and travel plans.

It would be interesting if she got pregnant.  I mean, she probably will, if she ever got off of whatever birth control method she is on because she isn’t stressing about it like I am.  I honestly used to feel like her.  I grew up as an only child and although I was never spoiled, I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to.  I was always independent and very selfish of my own time.   Up until a few years ago, I couldn’t see myself as a “mom.”  I was always doing “me.”

I loved my own time.  My time to sleep in and whenever I wanted to.  The ability to go shopping in peace.  The luxury of traveling to exotic places without worrying about daycare or anything.  To be able to go out with friends whenever I wanted to.  I loved “my time,” but that sorta changed when I got my puppy.  I’ve had dogs before but I never raised them on my own.  A lot of people say that having a puppy is just like having a baby, well sort of.  I  mean, I have to worry about travel plans now and who’s going to take care of my dog.  Doggy hotel runs around $40/day now.  If I go shopping or run errands, will my puppy break the house?  What about my dog’s general health, I have to groom her, take her to the vet, get the right food, supplements and supplies.  Responsibilities came and it’s been great practice.

The lady in the story that I read reminded me of myself, but years later, I wanted a baby.  I am not too sure if she will ever change her mind because she’s 38 and she stands firm behind her wants, but I hope that she thinks about it some more and changes her mind.  When you grow older, who will be there for you.  What about all of the joy and experiences that will become when you do have children.  Sure you have your time to do personal things, travel, etc, but nothing can compare to having your own family.

I remember when I wasn’t trying to get pregnant and had my period, how I hated it so. The carb and salty cravings you get the week before. The cramping, the mood swings, and just feeling like you haven’t slept enough. Then you get those period pimples. I dreaded those days before but now I am just dying to get any of those symptoms.

Well just a few days ago, my period finally came! I am hoping that this is it. I was on the last day of taking both estradiols and progesterones and the very next day, there it was! I was worried that it wasn’t going to come, since I had accidentally taken the estradiols the week after I took the combo, when I was supposed to take a break, but it ended up coming. I didn’t want to get too jinx myself, so I stayed silent for the day. The next day, I woke up and went to use the restroom and it was still there! I told my husband and we are so excited.

I’ve had my period for a few days now. I hope that this is it! We will just have to see. I can finally put that ovulation test to good use.

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Update

So I had my period for only 4 days. Is this right?  I remember a normal period lasting at least 5-7 days? Not again! I am so frusterated.  I have one more month to complete my estradiol and progesterone combo..I hope that time time, my period does come again and that it does last longer.

I thought that things were finally going my way.  I can’t believe I am stressing about it again.  I had happy hour with a few of my friends and one of them is due next month.  Most of the gals there were married and one just started a new job.  The other had said that they are trying too.  I hope that we can both get pregnant at the same time.  I was telling my husband how cute that wuold be, but he said, “it’s not a race.”  I know it’s not, but I don’t want to be the last one.  We will just have to see how things go and keep praying.

Sorry I didn’t get a chance to post my blog up on Friday everyone. I have had a lot come up, but the good news is that I recently saw some spotting.

I thought it was my period because I actually had it for about 5 days but when I had contacted my doctor about it, he told me to continue to take the estradiols and the progesterones for another month. This is exciting news. Finally, there is something going on. It’s like a jump start and I feel that the car is starting to turn on.

When I told my mom and husband, we were all so very excited. I don’t want to jinx myself, but I am going to keep taking the pills and keep praying. You all don’t know how exciting this is and what I am going through. Imagine when I do get pregnant!

I still cannot believe how a pill can prevent you from having your period for up to 2 years. I am on 9 months now and it’s getting pretty frustrating. I also find it very strange. After my whole ordeal and speaking with many of my friends that are ready to have children and have been on birth control, they, too, have gone off the pill. So far, one of my friends has had normal periods, but two of them have not. They are either spotty or haven’t even gotten their periods. This is just scary to me and I wish that the FDA would put a label on these birth control pills, so that people will know and not have to go through the stress that some of us are going through.

Update!! I am on the 16th day of my Estradiol, where I now have to take both Estradiol and Progesterone pills together. I noticed that I am more tired and more hungry. I feel like snacking all the time and my new obsession has been scoops of peanut butter dipped in chocolate jello pudding cups. This is so good, that I end up eating like 4-5 tablespoons of peanut butter. I know that peanut butter is good for you, but this might be going overboard. If my snack attacks are this bad, I am scared to see how it will be when I am prego!

I’ve also noticed that I’ve been having very strange mood swings. I’ve been crying more during movies, as if I haven’t already been in the past, but now, it’s ridiculous. My husband teases me about it, since I am crying about happy moments during a movie. On the flip side of this, I am also having what my husband calls  female “roid rage.” I am totally tooting my horn and my patience is zero! I find myself wanting to blow up off of stupid little things, like my puppy barking at noises outside and not hushing up. I’ve blown my cool twice, but I am trying to take a deep breath and relax. My doctor told me that this would happen, but I didn’t think it would be like this, geez!

Thanks for all the feedback on my last post.  I totally agree with you all.  I shouldn’t concentrate so much on what sex I get or even push for twins, but rather concentrate on conceiving first and hoping for a healthy baby.

After getting off of the pill, 6 months went by and still no period.  As I had mentioned before, my OB/GYN put me on progesterone pills.  3 more months went by and still, no period.   How was I so busy trying to have a boy or twins, when I haven’t even had my period in 9 months?

I went to go see my OB/GYN again and we had more blood tests done.  I have eggs and I am fertile, but it’s just not budging.  I told my doctor that my husband and I really want children and we want them now.  He put me on estradiol pills, which I am supposed to take everyday for the next 15 days.  After the 15th day, I am supposed to combine the estradiol pills with progesterone pills for a week.  He says I should get a period in the next 3-months.  I really hope so.

I have noticed that I have some mood swings and I have been breaking out more, but what’s nice is that I was insomniac before and these estradiol pills are helping me sleep.