The Mommies' Diaries…Parenting, One Blog at a Time.

It is summer and because I want to re-emphasize again and again that we can/ should/ will love learning, we have been doing some fun little science projects.  Most have worked, some have not.  (Awww, she said the raisins were supposed to dance…sadly, ours did not.)

We have been trying some of these little experiments I found here.  And, I googled (one of my hobbies) an old magic trick of sorts that I rememered from high school: You start by having a clear glass container about 1/2 full of water, and add a few drops of food coloring (blue works great)  and you will see the color spreads (you know, like gossip spreads). However will you get it clean again?

Pour about 1cup of bleach directly into the water, and in a few minutes the water will turn clear! (Yes, I let my kid play with harsh chemicals.)

Well, this works because of some sort of chemical bonding…but, lately, I have been thinking more about relational bonding.  And the “science” of attachment.  It is one of the biggest concerns people have about adopting and I know that bonding with our child will take time and a gradual building of trust.  But, really, like these science projects I don’t fully know what to expect.

Adoption.com describes BONDING as the process that a child goes through in developing lasting emotional ties with it’s immediate caregivers, which is seen as the first and most significant developmental task of a human being, and is central to that person’s ability to relate properly to others throughout its life.

Not a small task and not something I think will be easy.  Just considering the different personalities, needs and fears represented alone in our family, I know it is often hard for my kids whom I birthed.  And they have not had significant trust bonds broken. We did a haunting “homework assignment” when we were taking our adoption classes.

Step 1. We had to list all our plans for tomorrow, the people who we plan to have with us, our professional plans, the goals we seek and the people we know/ want beside us sharing those accomplishments.  Step 2. Tear the paper up.  Step 3. Re-answer those questions without repeating any of the same people or places from step 1. Basically, we are asking a child (from foster care or a previous living situation) to come into our family and imagine a new life with us and then to “hurry up and bond”.  Obviously, as this exercise shows, it is a bit of a complex equation.  It is no simple a + b = c.  It is more of a quadratic equation, or a chemistry proof (which I never really could do very well.)

I can sit here and hypothesize all day about what it will be like when we get “the call”.  And how it will be to welcome a child into our family.  But, in reality, I don’t have all the variables and we are not talking about something like science, we are talking about a little person.  So, as for the “science of bonding”…I am just reading up on it and we will have to take things one day at a time (and attempt to lay aside any expectations.)

Truth be told, I am not into science.  Not really into math at all either.  This is mostly funny because 3 of my closest friends are scientists or at one time were.  One of them has their Ph.D in Physics.  Yeah, I know!  There are times when they are talking about things that I have NO CLUE what they are talking about.  I just make fun of them and tell them that they are geeking out.

Recently, one of them showed up to my house with this GPS thing and starting talking about how you follow the GPS to find things.  It is called geocaching.  I had actually heard of it before because one of my favorite actors from when I was a teen is a geocaching freak.  I think Sarah was impressed I had heard of it before.  After the brief mention, we both went on doing whatever it was we were doing.

What is geocaching you ask?  According to The Offical Global GPS Cache Hunt site, “Geocaching is a high-tech treasure hunting game played throughout the world by adventure seekers equipped with GPS devices. The basic idea is to locate hidden containers, called geocaches, outdoors and then share your experiences online. Geocaching is enjoyed by people from all age groups with a strong sense of community and support for the environment.”  If you are really interested you should check out the site because it gives you all the information.

Today, we decided to take the kids geocaching.  I just laughed that I was agreeing to go “geek out” with my scientist friends.  I knew that the kids would LOVE it though, so I was game.  Sarah had downloaded the info we needed and off we went to a local park.  We were looking for a kids geocache.  When you find the cache you open it and leave a treasure behind, you may also take a treasure that has been left.  Very cool!

We followed the GPS down a local trail at Shoup Park.  It was really fun.  The girls had fun walking through the trees and high grass, looking for something though they, like me, had no clue what it looked like.  After looking for about 20 minutes or so I had given up.  Another mom and I took the kids on down the trail a bit leaving the two geeks to continue the hunt.  After a bit of time they came to tell us they had found it.

The kids were very excited.  We all went back to the location and were shown where it was hidden.  We pulled it out and sure enough…..TREASURE!  It was cute to see the girls be so excited.  After getting our loot and replacing it with treasure we brought we re-hid the cache and headed out to lunch.  There was also a log book that the two geeks signed, I am guessing the Web site would give you info. on that.

After lunch, we looked for one more cache in downtown Los Altos and located it pretty easily.  By that time I think the girls were over it.  I, however, am hooked!  I won’t be rushing out anytime soon to buy my own GPS but I will be begging Sarah to take me on another “Geek Adventure” soon!

This was really a lot of fun for the kids.  Not only that but it was really good bonding time together.  We got to talk about birds we saw, trees, etc.  I would highly recommend it!