Watch Out for My Wrath

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Posted by liafreitas | Posted in Miscellaneous | Posted on 27-07-2010

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It’s all about me this week.  I need some attention.  I need some love.  Truth be told, I need some reassurance.  We all need that some days right?  My journey through motherhood hasn’t been all easy (is it ever?).  There have been many bumps along the road.  It has taken me 5 years to realize that I am good enough.  It is OK that I want to go back to work…it doesn’t make me any less of a mom.  In fact, it makes me a better mom.  It has been a LONG process to figure this all out but I am getting there……

I am outspoken.  I tend to say exactly what I think.  I can be passive/aggressive.  I often say things without truly thinking about them.  I can be your best friend and your worst enemy…frienemy if you will.

While reading Gina’s post yesterday, I had to check the by-line to make sure that I hadn’t written it.  I know exactly how she is feeling.  I know, because I feel that way most every day.  The problem with this is that I am 5 years into this gig while she is still a rookie (said only in love because seriously Gina is amazing and some days I want to be her!).  After reading her post, I wanted to make sure she knew that it is OK if being a mom isn’t enough for her.  After I posted my comment, I realized I was really writing to myself.

Sure, I want everyone to know that it is OK if being a mommy isn’t enough for you.  It really is OK to put your kids in daycare or hire a nanny or whatever works best for you.  I now have a theory that I am a much better mom after LG gets some time at school or the gym daycare.  I admit that LG LOVES it.  She would actually rather be in school than with me because she can paint! Play with friends! Be crazy all day!

I have become insecure since becoming a mom.  I used to be confident.  I knew who I was and I was proud of it.  Now?  I let my insecurities rule my world. There really is no reason to be insecure.  I am a professional blogger.  I get paid to write!  I am part of some amazing groups that allow me to do things that people only dream of.  I am awesome dammit!  Haha.

I am trying really hard to work on my insecurities.  I am trying to not put my wrath on others because even though it is meant with love, it doesn’t always come across that way.  Not only that, I am trying remember how awesome I am :=)

Comments (4)

You ARE awesome. Sadly, I’m glad I’m not alone :-) Amazing how unique this journey is to all of us, and how long it takes to maneuver through it all. You’re doing great, and LG is one lucky kid!

It’s so hard sometimes to remember that everyone approaches motherhood different and we are all just doing the best we can.

Sounds to be like you and LG are awesome!

Yup. We are all pretty much doing the best we can. I think that we all deserve to give outself a little bit of a break and remember that mothering is hard and most days, we probably did a pretty good job… no matter what form that takes…

And as for the time away for preschool? I want to kiss the techers the first day of school. On the lips. Kids in school and with a schedule = cheaper than checking me in somewhere to “rest” like the celebrities do. The end. :-)

Love it!

I am awesome…..best line in the whole post. Great post, and I agree with you – you are Mommy hear ya roar! I spent many a night fretting over what I have not done yet for my kids and how I am not feeding them all organic food and grass fed beef…..er, oops beef is bad isn’t it? We all need to give ourselves a break.

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