Posted by MissyHall | Posted in Adopting Mommy | Posted on 12-06-2012
Tags: adoption, drains, fills, Missy Hall, priorities
“Mommy, how full is your tank?”
“It’s up to my shoulder…guess I need a little more snuggle time.”
My kids know this kind of language about where our “tanks” are. Do you know how it is to be trying to give everything you’ve got, but your tank is working its way down to “empty”.
In the beginning of the new year, Hunnie and I always meet up and specifically talk a bit about last year and thoughts on the upcoming year. Last January he had been reading some book that talked along the lines of making sure you do the things that you can to “fill” you and so we each made a list:
What Fills Missy?
Dates with my man and individual date time with each kid, walking outdoors, exploring new places, reading, writing, movies, extended time with my mind “off”, showers, naps, eating with people, having girlfriends over, good “real” conversations, feeling understood, serving others
What Drains Missy?
Constant correcting, constant coordinating, noise, late nights, difficult relationships, spending money, making decisions that are hard, the “ugly junk” of the world, my health and headaches.
It is kind of important at this point in the game (mid year…still waiting on adoption) to revisit this and re-evaluate life in general. There are some things we are still working on as a family and if I am willing to own up to some of my stuff that just needs to change, then I’ll be all the more prepared to have a stable home for future child. Sometimes I need some help getting back on track. Hunnie is really great at asking good questions like:
What are the things, the 5%, that only I can do? Sometimes I do a bunch of stuff, but it is not really necessary, nor is it my top priority, nor is it “filling” my tank, nor is it “filling” someone else’s tank. Dinner is usually a top priority, but sometimes I feel like this:
How do I communicate with my family (or work situation) if my tank gets low and I need to refill it? Because usually, I communicate crabbiness and a slight oozing of irritation long before I realize that I need some refueling and take the time to do that. This picture describes me all too often:
If I have only 7 bursts of energy, where do I want them to go? Yep, I spend my energy on things that I ought not to, then, I am drained when it comes time for my kiddos.
How do I want to be seen in 10 years? What do I want my family to look like? Some of the best advice from MOPS this year was to remember that I am raising a future adult. That whole idea of keeping the end goal in focus, sometimes gets lost if I am daily “draining” and not taking the time to “refuel”.
So, how would you answer these questions? And what are some of your best “refuel” tips…so I can try them, too!